This morning I felt drawn to share the random thoughts in my head. I've been putting it off, sure that it would make no sense to anyone, not even me, and tried to condense it or narrow it down to one topic. It hasn't worked. Normally something like this would just go in a journal. I even tried that, it's right here next to me, but I could only get so far before I knew it wasn't right. I even had to turn off Pandora and plug my ears because the music, dogs, and birds were just too much distraction.
God is an amazing God. There is a part of me that just wants to sit and praise Him all day, thanking Him and glorifying Him for who He is and what He has done. But there is so much more.
In my daily reading, from the book Jesus Calling, it talked about being thankful in all things. It gave several references for different statements in the reading. The last one was 1 Thessalonians 5:18.
In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.
Awesome, great reminder. However, that verse happened to fall in the middle of a passage I had previously high-lighted. So I read that passage (v 14-22). Several of those scriptures prompted thoughts, which can be discussed later. One thing I have learned though is to be careful about taking scripture out of context, so I read all of chapter 5. Now I have been reminded to recognize and esteem those who labor and admonish me in the Lord. But even that wasn't enough so I read the whole book. The next passage to really grab me was 4:10-12.
...But we urge you, brethren, that you increase more and more. That you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you. That you may walk properly towards those who are outside, and that you may lack nothing.
I know there is a lot more to glean from the book of 1 Thessalonians. But you see these have hit me where I am. I don't know how much I can say without seeming to brag. I guess I can say as much as I want seeing that very few people will read this, I just wouldn't want to offend any who might.
I want to serve Him. I know, we all want to serve Him, but I think I’m finding a new love with the emphasis on the “serve.” I was a singer. He gave me a gift and it was used in ministry. Unfortunately, as a consequence of abusing and neglecting my gift, I, at this time, am not a “singer.” That doesn’t mean I don’t sing, I do, but it does mean I have started to the opportunity to minister in a different light. We are not commanded to sing like a bird, just to make a joyful noise. I can do that. I keep finding myself coming back to the story of Peter, when he was asked for alms and said “Silver and gold have I none, but such as I have, give I thee.” I believe that was a loose paraphrasing, but you get the point. Or when Christ pointed out the women who gave two half pennies, approximately, but she gave more than anyone else. God gives us what we have; He knows what we have to give and just asks that we give. Well, right now I have time, a few skills, and the ability to learn new ones. So that is what I have to give.
This is where it gets really crazy and I find myself needing to stop and seek God, ask Him his will is. I can come up with all sort of things I can try to do and learn, but I want to know what He wants me to do. Does He want me to do everything or am I just learning to busy for God. I don’t want to get caught up in busyness. I have been in roles in the past because it was what was expected or because it was what I wanted to do. This time I want what He has for me. So, do I learn to bake & cook, create beautiful things to sell & gift, do administrative tasks, learn ASL and help in sign & drama, clean toilets & vacuum, write thoughtful and inspirational notes, or something else that hasn’t even crossed my mind yet. I don’t mean to seem proud or boastful that I can do all those things. I can’t. Not really. At least, not unless God does it through me. Doing any of those things, even the cooking or cleaning, means I have to let go of my fears and my pride, more specifically, my fear that my pride will be hurt. This is actually the one small reason I’m glad I am not able to sing well right now. I have always been competitive about it and that hinders the Spirit.
Okay, I said this was random.
When I tried to write in my journal all I got was this:
Jesus. Simply, wholly, wonderfully, amazingly, faithfully, Jesus.
Peace, refuge, strength, hope, joy, comfort, provision, love – everything we need.
When we are lost, confused, grieving, depressed, oppressed – His name is all it takes.
When we are so joyfully happy our human words aren’t enough we can proclaim His name.
I also went online and tried to learn the signs for “Welcome Into This Place.” I got most of them. Which is cool. I guess I’ll try to add that to my daily memorization group. That is a whole other thing I won’t go into right now.
See, this is what many of my journal entries turn out to be. Just rambling thoughts. Others are prayers or praises to God, but sometimes those are difficult to write. I can’t keep up.
Even now I am hesitant to post this. Some will think I’m crazy, ridiculous, or self righteous. Others will feel sorrow for me because I’m not where they think I should be. All I can say is, thank you. Thank you for your time. I didn’t do this for you. I did it because I had to.
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