Dreams, Faith, and Hope, Oh My

Isn't it great when little things that happen to you suddenly make sense? Seemingly unrelated moments suddenly become the path that lead you to where you are and you can see God's hand along on the way. That kind of happened this week and it was kind of awesome.

While my relationship with God is growing stronger, there are still a few areas I haven't let go of. However, last Monday at prayer meeting I can say there was a definite break through. I couldn't tell you what specifically God was doing, but He was definitely doing something. Later in the week I had a moment, a dream actually. This dream was a predecessor to one that I've had before. However, I wanted to ignore it, blow it off. I kind of chalked it up to something I had watched. This dream opened up wounds I wasn't sure I wanted or could handle. After that I started feeling sick, nothing major, but enough to keep me from wanting to go to church. I didn't want to deal with it, think about it, or pray about it. Saturday night I went to bed still trying to decide if I was sick enough to miss church without lying. I had forgotten about my alarm clock. It woke me up and I just knew I was going to church.

Well, God knew what He was doing. We had a special speaker. He and his wife sang and ministered to us. More than that. Her testimony included a situation similar to mine, which isn't unusual, but it too included a dream. A dream. I don't claim to be a prophetess, but I have had dreams come true, some exactly, some more like a parable. I have struggled with whether or not to believe this dream that was so vivid. I have been afraid to hope. I mean what if I said it was from God, but really it was just a random dream and my own selfishness?

I still don't have all the answers, but I did receive blessings from the Lord yesterday regarding encouragement, desires of my heart, preparing to receive His blessing, and getting past my self doubt issues.

I wish I could explain it. Some of you know what I'm talking about. For those that don't, just picture your desire that you're afraid to hope for. The exact desire isn't what matters, it's the journey and growth in the relationship with God that matters.

Anyhow, after yesterday I knew that the breakthrough on Monday opened my heart enough to be able to receive the dream. My reaction to the dream was hurt and confusion, but it was a renewing of a promise, needed and confirmed with His word yesterday in others' testimony and prayers. That is God, working all things for my good. Isn't He great that way?

So, if I start doing things that seem a little quirky, forgive me. Mostly, I covet your prayers for wisdom, guidance, and strength. In turn, know that I am praying for you, God knows who you are. You are worthy because He decided you were worthy. He called you His and gave His life for you. He will provide your needs, He will be your shelter, your place of rest, your strength, your peace. More than that, He will be your hope.

James 1:2-4

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be prefect and complete, lacking nothing.

That scripture is from my favorite book of the Bible, but I still find it difficult. Trials are not always "hardships." Sometimes, it's simply having faith that God will do what He has promised and waiting for His time. That is a test of faith, especially in our "microwave" generation.

I guess this turned out a little more jumbled than I expected, but it's okay. It's just more proof that I'm strange. If you're reading this, you already knew that. If I am supposed to impart some words of wisdom (?) then go with this: God is faithful. Keep praising Him through the trials and You will receive His promises.

I'm Free

This morning was a stay in bed kind of day. We had to give the baby puppies to their new home yesterday, so we're still kind of sad, but I'm up and about. I almost let myself skip over the quiet time just because it's later in the day than normal, but I'm learning that the quiet time is what makes everything else easier. So in reading and trying to pray I was going to tackle my thoughts about "never thirsting again" and "daily drinking from His waters." However, my mind was scattered. Suddenly, through the haze that was my brain, I heard the song playing on Pandora, I'm Free on Creflo Dollar presents Heart of God. It just hit me. It seems God knew I just needed to spend time enjoying Him and His presence today. Isn't that amazing?! There is so much depth to God that I could spend all day every day studying and seeking and, yet, I still wouldn't have a full comprehension of Him.

So, today, I'm going to celebrate the fact that I'm free because He set me free. I'm free to worship Him, free to share the love of God, free to be sad, and free to find my joy in Him. There will always be more to learn, sometimes He just wants us to be in Him, celebrating, thanking, rejoicing for the gift we have been given.

The fastest way to get past stress about things in life is to simply praise Him for what He has done.

I hope you find time to celebrate today. We are free!

http://www.myspace.com/557185330/music/songs/i-m-free-43679121

A Jealous God

God is jealous. It's a fact; He doesn't try to hide it. He desires our time, our love, our worship, our everything. But He doesn't just desire it. He actually made us to need Him. He created us with a void that can only be filled by Him, with needs that can only be met by Him. On top of that, He gives us just what we need for that moment or time. We don't have leftovers. We have to go back to Him for what we need when the next situation arises. Past blessings and miracles help to strengthen our faith, and patience, but we still have to go to the source. Like the children of Israel in the desert. They were hungry so God provided manna, but it wouldn't last more than a day. Each morning, before the day got too warm, they had to go out, seek, and gather His blessings. (PLEASE NOTE: This was inspired by the April 18 reading from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young) He will give us a peace that passes understanding, but we must return to Him to keep it. If it was a permanent gift, we would most likely start to feel self sufficient because we could take our eyes off of Him. He doesn't want that, He wants us to keep our eyes on Him. He is a jealous God.

I didn't really want to start my day today. I am dreading going to apply for these two jobs. It's not even an interview, just simply applying in person. So I almost just went back to bed, but I knew if I did I probably wouldn't have quiet time again before leaving. I'll be honest; the excitement of reading and praying wasn't all it should have been. Though one set of scriptures did catch my eye, Philippians 4:6-7.

6 Be anxious for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts, and minds through Christ Jesus.

So, I'm not supposed to worry about these jobs. Instead I am to humbly, earnestly put my request before God and then thank Him for His mercies, His will, His provision. That's all I need to be at peace about the day. By the way, it worked. I will be headed out soon knowing that God will supply all my needs according to His riches in glory.

Back to the jealous God. He made us. God doesn't make mistakes, but He did make us with human frailties so that we would need to depend on Him. Our loving God, and oh how He loves us, made us so that we couldn't be complete without Him, giving Him the opportunity to pour out His love even more. You know, I'm okay with having a jealous God, sure beats one who would leave us on our own to figure it all out.

Thank you, Lord for Your all knowing, all mighty love. We reach out to You in love, praise, and adoration. You alone are worthy of all honor and praise. Your name be high and lifted up. Holy, holy, holy is the Lamb.   Thank You for Your provision, Your strength, Your peace, Your hope, Your healing. Lord, we give You our needs and accept Your peace. Thank You, Jesus.

All that we need

I know we "know" that God provides for our needs, but sometimes we can't see how it's going to work out. Sometimes we have walked away from our life with God and don't think we should call to Him. Sometimes we have walked so far away and are so spiritually dry and weak that we can't call out to Him. Well, guess what. There is good news.

Isaiah 41: 17-20

17 The poor and needy seek water, but there is none, their tongues fail for thirst. I, the Lord, will hear them; I, the God of Israel, will not forsake them.

Let's stop there. This along is enough to make me say "Praise the Lord" as I have experienced this myself. We know from many scriptures in the New Testament that the tongue is important in our relationship with God. It is with the tongue we are defiled, because out of the mouth speaks the abundance of the heart. However, we can surrender our tongue to God and confess Him with our mouth, in fact we are commanded to do so. When we have no words to say and can only cry "Jesus" He hears and answers. But what about those times when we can't even open our mouths? We have been bruised, battered, and broken or we have simply just chosen to live life without God to the point we have no way to get back. We don't know where to turn, can barely think, and much less make sense. This is where God comes in. Actually, He is always there. He tells us He will hear us even when our tongues fail. He can hear our heart. How close do to you to be to someone to hear their heart? How well do you have to know someone to know what is really going on in their heart and mind? That means that no matter how far we have strayed from Him, He has never left us. God loves us so much He will walk through valleys, across deserts, and over mountains just so He can be there to hear the last feeble faint cry for Him. What an amazing love!

Well, it's wonderful to know He hears us, but what next? What hoops to we have to jump through, what tasks do we have to check off to get where we can live with Him again?

18 I will open rivers in desolate heights, and fountains in the midst of the valleys; I will make the wilderness a pool of water, and the dry land springs of water.
19 I will plant in the wilderness the cedar and the acacia tree, the myrtle and the oil tree; I will set in the desert the cypress tree and the pine and the box tree together,
20 That they may see and know, and consider and understand together, that the hand of the Lord has done this, and the Holy One of Israel has created it.


After He hears us, He provides for us. Often at that point of weakness we don't know where to turn to be fed and watered. I'm sure a lot of wives and mothers can relate. You forget to eat and now have to find food and prepare it, but you're so hungry you can't think straight (which is why we eat too much fast food, but that's another issue). We can be that way spiritually. If we have walked so far from the spiritual "kitchen" or "store" that our mouths can't even call out, how can we know which way to go? In vs. 18 & 19 He tells us He will create what we need where we are, right there in that deserted place, the place of hurt, confusion, and doubt. He will give us water. When your body has gotten to that point, all it can accept is fluids until it's stronger. God knows how weak we are. Just like He won't give us more trials than we can handle, He isn't going to add to our confusion by giving us more spirituality than we can handle. God is so tender with us it's almost unfathomable.

After reviving us with that miraculously created spiritual water He will see to our needs. At first glance it appears He provides us with shelter in the desert by giving all these trees, and He is. However, there is more to it than that. He listed specific trees for a reason. I mean, would God really just waste words? If He said something, there is a reason. So after a little research I found these trees listed have multiple uses. Cedar wood is used for shelter and the oil is used to keep away destructive moths and as an antiseptic. Acacia trees can provide protein, have medicinal values, and the structure of the tree itself it's a natural defense because of the thorns. Myrtle has long been used in different ways in different cultures for the purposes of healing, strength, and vitality. Oil is used for cooking, healing, preserving. Cypress wood is durable and easy to carry. It's also resistant to moisture damage and is a great fire wood. The inner bark and seeds of pine are a good food source, and occasionally sugar crystals form on the leaves. Right there is proof that God knows we need a little extra sweetness some times. Pine is also used in medicines and every day items such as clothing, canoes, baskets, and cooking boxes.

So, not only does God stay close enough to hear our heart's cry and create water for our thirst, He then provides for life with food, shelter, clothing, warmth, and tools. This isn't just physical provision. He has given us His Word, the Bible, the apostles and prophets, and teachers, pastors, and evangelists. Most importantly, we have the Holy Spirit. He provides all these things to us, in the desert, just so we will know and understand His greatness and the greatness of His love for us.

In closing, even when we have left a life with God, He loves us enough to stay so close He can hear our heart's cry. Upon hearing that cry He then revives us with His water, refreshing and renewing our spirit. Then He continues to provide what we need to live a life with Him, both spiritually and physically, shelter, food, warmth, defense, healing, clothing, and tools. He does it all. He is all.

Thank You, Lord, for Your loving kindness and tender mercies. Hallelujah to Your name.

Random Thoughts - A Journal Entry

This morning I felt drawn to share the random thoughts in my head. I've been putting it off, sure that it would make no sense to anyone, not even me, and tried to condense it or narrow it down to one topic. It hasn't worked. Normally something like this would just go in a journal. I even tried that, it's right here next to me, but I could only get so far before I knew it wasn't right. I even had to turn off Pandora and plug my ears because the music, dogs, and birds were just too much distraction.

God is an amazing God. There is a part of me that just wants to sit and praise Him all day, thanking Him and glorifying Him for who He is and what He has done. But there is so much more.

In my daily reading, from the book Jesus Calling, it talked about being thankful in all things. It gave several references for different statements in the reading. The last one was 1 Thessalonians 5:18.

In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Awesome, great reminder. However, that verse happened to fall in the middle of a passage I had previously high-lighted. So I read that passage (v 14-22). Several of those scriptures prompted thoughts, which can be discussed later. One thing I have learned though is to be careful about taking scripture out of context, so I read all of chapter 5. Now I have been reminded to recognize and esteem those who labor and admonish me in the Lord. But even that wasn't enough so I read the whole book. The next passage to really grab me was 4:10-12.

...But we urge you, brethren, that you increase more and more. That you also aspire to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business, and to work with your own hands, as we commanded you. That you may walk properly towards those who are outside, and that you may lack nothing.

I know there is a lot more to glean from the book of 1 Thessalonians. But you see these have hit me where I am. I don't know how much I can say without seeming to brag. I guess I can say as much as I want seeing that very few people will read this, I just wouldn't want to offend any who might.

I want to serve Him. I know, we all want to serve Him, but I think I’m finding a new love with the emphasis on the “serve.” I was a singer. He gave me a gift and it was used in ministry. Unfortunately, as a consequence of abusing and neglecting my gift, I, at this time, am not a “singer.” That doesn’t mean I don’t sing, I do, but it does mean I have started to the opportunity to minister in a different light. We are not commanded to sing like a bird, just to make a joyful noise. I can do that. I keep finding myself coming back to the story of Peter, when he was asked for alms and said “Silver and gold have I none, but such as I have, give I thee.” I believe that was a loose paraphrasing, but you get the point. Or when Christ pointed out the women who gave two half pennies, approximately, but she gave more than anyone else. God gives us what we have; He knows what we have to give and just asks that we give. Well, right now I have time, a few skills, and the ability to learn new ones. So that is what I have to give.

This is where it gets really crazy and I find myself needing to stop and seek God, ask Him his will is. I can come up with all sort of things I can try to do and learn, but I want to know what He wants me to do. Does He want me to do everything or am I just learning to busy for God. I don’t want to get caught up in busyness. I have been in roles in the past because it was what was expected or because it was what I wanted to do. This time I want what He has for me. So, do I learn to bake & cook, create beautiful things to sell & gift, do administrative tasks, learn ASL and help in sign & drama, clean toilets & vacuum, write thoughtful and inspirational notes, or something else that hasn’t even crossed my mind yet. I don’t mean to seem proud or boastful that I can do all those things. I can’t. Not really. At least, not unless God does it through me. Doing any of those things, even the cooking or cleaning, means I have to let go of my fears and my pride, more specifically, my fear that my pride will be hurt. This is actually the one small reason I’m glad I am not able to sing well right now. I have always been competitive about it and that hinders the Spirit.

Okay, I said this was random.

When I tried to write in my journal all I got was this:

Jesus. Simply, wholly, wonderfully, amazingly, faithfully, Jesus.

Peace, refuge, strength, hope, joy, comfort, provision, love – everything we need.

When we are lost, confused, grieving, depressed, oppressed – His name is all it takes.

When we are so joyfully happy our human words aren’t enough we can proclaim His name.

I also went online and tried to learn the signs for “Welcome Into This Place.” I got most of them. Which is cool. I guess I’ll try to add that to my daily memorization group. That is a whole other thing I won’t go into right now.

See, this is what many of my journal entries turn out to be. Just rambling thoughts. Others are prayers or praises to God, but sometimes those are difficult to write. I can’t keep up.

Even now I am hesitant to post this. Some will think I’m crazy, ridiculous, or self righteous. Others will feel sorrow for me because I’m not where they think I should be. All I can say is, thank you. Thank you for your time. I didn’t do this for you. I did it because I had to.

He Gives and Takes Away

I'm sure by now many people have heard the song "Blessed Be Your Name." You know the one:

Blessed be Your name

In the land that is plentiful

Where streams of abundance flow

Blessed by Your name

Blessed be Your name

When I'm found in the desert place

Though I walk through the wilderness

Blessed be Your name

Every blessing You pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

Blessed be Your name

When the sun's shining down on me

When the world's all that it should be

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be Your name

On the road marked with suffering

Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

Every blessing Your pour out

I'll turn back to praise

When the darkness closes in, Lord

Still I will say

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your name

Blessed be the name of the Lord

Blessed be Your glorious name

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Blessed be Your name

That last little part, the "bridge", is the part that sticks with me the most. It's been almost three years since this song hit me so hard. Our church had lost a beloved minister, friend, musician, husband, father near the end of the week. Saturday we held a memorial service as his funeral was going to be in his home state. Sunday morning our pastor got us all through the service, not coldly, but not openly grieving, we had guests. Oh, but Sunday evening. The family and the pastor had left to be at the funeral on Monday and we, as a church, gave praise and worship to God. Our hearts cried out to Him. We understood that He can give and take away and we still chose to say Blessed be Your name.

Time has passed and we've "moved on." Many of us have struggled with different things in life, even understanding how or why God allows the things He does. But regardless of what He gives or takes away, I have to trust Him. In trusting Him I will find joy (Psalm 33:21) and strength that never ends (Isaiah 26:4). So even when I am afraid, I will trust Him (Psalm 56:3) and my heart will choose to say Blessed be Your name.