Isn't it great when little things that happen to you suddenly make sense? Seemingly unrelated moments suddenly become the path that lead you to where you are and you can see God's hand along on the way. That kind of happened this week and it was kind of awesome.
While my relationship with God is growing stronger, there are still a few areas I haven't let go of. However, last Monday at prayer meeting I can say there was a definite break through. I couldn't tell you what specifically God was doing, but He was definitely doing something. Later in the week I had a moment, a dream actually. This dream was a predecessor to one that I've had before. However, I wanted to ignore it, blow it off. I kind of chalked it up to something I had watched. This dream opened up wounds I wasn't sure I wanted or could handle. After that I started feeling sick, nothing major, but enough to keep me from wanting to go to church. I didn't want to deal with it, think about it, or pray about it. Saturday night I went to bed still trying to decide if I was sick enough to miss church without lying. I had forgotten about my alarm clock. It woke me up and I just knew I was going to church.
Well, God knew what He was doing. We had a special speaker. He and his wife sang and ministered to us. More than that. Her testimony included a situation similar to mine, which isn't unusual, but it too included a dream. A dream. I don't claim to be a prophetess, but I have had dreams come true, some exactly, some more like a parable. I have struggled with whether or not to believe this dream that was so vivid. I have been afraid to hope. I mean what if I said it was from God, but really it was just a random dream and my own selfishness?
I still don't have all the answers, but I did receive blessings from the Lord yesterday regarding encouragement, desires of my heart, preparing to receive His blessing, and getting past my self doubt issues.
I wish I could explain it. Some of you know what I'm talking about. For those that don't, just picture your desire that you're afraid to hope for. The exact desire isn't what matters, it's the journey and growth in the relationship with God that matters.
Anyhow, after yesterday I knew that the breakthrough on Monday opened my heart enough to be able to receive the dream. My reaction to the dream was hurt and confusion, but it was a renewing of a promise, needed and confirmed with His word yesterday in others' testimony and prayers. That is God, working all things for my good. Isn't He great that way?
So, if I start doing things that seem a little quirky, forgive me. Mostly, I covet your prayers for wisdom, guidance, and strength. In turn, know that I am praying for you, God knows who you are. You are worthy because He decided you were worthy. He called you His and gave His life for you. He will provide your needs, He will be your shelter, your place of rest, your strength, your peace. More than that, He will be your hope.
James 1:2-4
My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be prefect and complete, lacking nothing.
That scripture is from my favorite book of the Bible, but I still find it difficult. Trials are not always "hardships." Sometimes, it's simply having faith that God will do what He has promised and waiting for His time. That is a test of faith, especially in our "microwave" generation.
I guess this turned out a little more jumbled than I expected, but it's okay. It's just more proof that I'm strange. If you're reading this, you already knew that. If I am supposed to impart some words of wisdom (?) then go with this: God is faithful. Keep praising Him through the trials and You will receive His promises.
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