Relationships

I have admitted I am bad at relationships. I have 39 years experience of walking away when things changed instead of fighting to keep something. It is very much an unintentional learned behavior. This behavior has caused a tremendous amount of pain to myself and others. God created us in His image and to be with Him and He still knew that people needed other people. How absurd is it for us to think we can stand on our own? Why do we think we can only show the happy side, the pretty parts, the picture perfect aspects? Life is not pretty. God promised life more abundant, but He didn't specify which parts of life would be more abundant. Life with Him allows to always keep hope and have joy regardless of whether we see the light or the darkness. We can't undo our past. We can't make other people forgive us or build relationships with us. But we can build a relationship with Christ and allow that to be what keeps us. We can open our hearts to those He puts in our lives and support each other.
I have no money to give and I can't be there physically. I am not perfect and I don't have all the answers, BUT message me, call me, text me, email me - you are not alone.

I wonder . .

I wonder how many of us suffer from depression unnecessarily. I will not deny that there can be medical & chemical causes for depression. But I also think we separate ourselves, for various reasons, and trigger the path of depression.

I stink at relationships. I expect them to end. I don't know how to maintain them unless someone needs me. I am bad at motivational speaking for myself and those closest to me. What's worse, for me, is that I see the cage. I know I need out, but I don't want out until I am perfect and I can't be perfect, so I stay. How sick is this?

I have no profound answers or words of advice. Just thoughts in this head of mine.

Be blessed today.